Members Only
by haleigh.l
Summary: Steph faces a new kind of stalker, and the guys in her life are too busy laughing to help her. No angst! This is technically the long-awaited sequel to "Hot or Not?" but that won't make sense till later. Not really babe or cupcake - more just funny.


_I don't know about anybody else, but I needed a break from the angst for a while :) This is a new story, and a sequel to "Hot or Not?" (but that won't show up until later). I don't usually post something until I have it entirely plotted out, if not already written out. But I decided to go ahead and start posting this. I have no idea how long updates will take, as I have a lot of papers to grade this semester. But I'll update as often as I can._

_Disclaimer – all characters property of JE – I make no profit and torture them only for entertainment purposes_

…

I started a cult.

It wasn't intentional. It wasn't like I woke up one morning and said, "Aha! Today I will gather my disciples." Instead, my followers seem to have found me. And worse, they weren't going away.

I stared at the high-school age girl in front of me who looked like she was a split second from swooning. "What did you say?"

"I'm one of—" She pressed a hand to her heart and took a gulping breath, still with a wide smile on her face. "I'm one of your followers. I can't believe I'm actually speaking to you. The rest of the group will never believe it!"

I pressed a finger to my right eye to calm the twitching. It wasn't working. If my mother found out about this, I was going to spend the rest of my life with only Ranger's granola cereal to keep me company. "The rest of what group?"

"The rest of your following," she said. She said it like I was the dumb one in the conversation. "We're very dedicated to your life."

"_I'm_ not even dedicated to my life!"

"Oh I know," she said, still gushing. "We can help with that. We have polls."

I stared at her, trying to come up with an appropriate response. I didn't want to be rude. But seriously, there was something wrong with this girl. She looked normal enough: brown hair in pigtails, private school uniform, braces. But then again, Carrie had looked normal too, and we all know how that ended.

"What's your name?" I said. You know, for the restraining order.

"Emily. Emily Harrison." Then she started gushing again. "Oh my god, I can't believe you actually know my name."

Yeah. The cops were going to know it too, in a minute, honey. "Hey, want to take a picture together?"

She almost did swoon then. Her knees buckled a little and her face flushed dark red. Her eyes popped open and a piece of gum fell out of her mouth.

"Well?" I said.

"Omigod, omigod, omigod!"

I cringed and waited for the squealing to stop, then pulled out my phone. I stood next to her, very careful not to touch her, and snapped a picture of us both. Then I snapped a picture of her uniform.

Rule number one of cult membership: Never stalk someone while wearing a recognizable uniform. Or give your full name.

Guess Emily didn't learn that in private school. I walked past her, toward my car. She had cornered me outside of the big chain grocery store. Thank god for small miracles – none of my mother's friends would be caught dead at the chain grocery store.

I froze when I heard footsteps behind me. I turned, and there was Emily, right behind me. I started walking again. She started walking again. I stopped…well, you get the picture.

"Um," I said, turning to her. Shit – Ranger never covered this in all his 'how to be a bounty hunter' lessons. "I'm going to go home now."

She grinned and nodded.

I started walking again...yep, just what I thought. She was walking too. I stopped and turned so fast she almost smacked right into me. "Okay. Maybe I wasn't clear. You need to go home too."

"Ohhh. Sure, okay. Will I see you again?"

"Apparently."

She cocked her head to the side, missing my sarcasm. I mean, what kind of a stalker was this girl if she didn't know if she would see me again? Isn't seeing someone again the whole point of stalking them?

I turned back to my car, and this time she didn't follow. When I climbed in my car and glanced back at her, she was still standing there with that dumb look on her face. Well, now I just felt bad.

I shook my head and drove away, leaving poor Emily befuddled. It took me twelve minutes to get to the PD. I wandered through until I found Joe slumped over his desk, his head resting on his folded hands.

I stared at him for a minute, looking so cute and rumbled and tired. I contemplated my choices: being nice and letting him sleep, or being evil and playing a prank.

Who am I kidding? I didn't contemplate shit. At the same time, I slammed the door and yelled, "It's the chief!"

Joe came flying out of his chair. "Chief, I'm just—" He stopped and focused bleary eyes on me.

I grinned. "That was fun."

He rubbed his hands over his face and dropped back into his chair. "That was cold."

"I know. But you were just so cute asleep like that."

"Then couldn't you have let me stay asleep? This is your fault, by the way."

I perched my ass on the edge of his desk and gave him a saucy smile. "You were a willing participant last night."

He edged up so he could peer down my shirt. "I'm feeling a little more awake now."

"So you're in a good mood?"

He palmed a hand over my breast. "Very good."

"Good. Cause I have a new stalker."

A muscle in his jaw twitched and his hand tightened on my boob.

"Are you going to let go?" I said, glancing down at his hand.

"It's keeping me calm."

"If it helps, I don't think she's trying to kill me."

He looked up at me. "Well that's progress, I guess."

I pulled my phone out of my bag and showed him the picture. Joe stared at it for a moment before cracking up laughing. "This is your new stalker? This little girl?"

"It gets more disturbing. She said she was part of my following."

Joe's smile got wider. "You have a following?"

"Apparently."

He flipped her phone closed and hand it back to her. "I wouldn't worry too much, Cupcake. I'm sure she's harmless."

I shrugged. "You're the one who's been bitching about me telling you at the first sign of a threat."

"I wasn't bitching."

I grinned and hoisted myself off his desk. "Oh you were bitching. Your face turned red and your nose scrunched up. You were a second away from whining."

"Well if you wouldn't take stupid risks—"

"I'm here, aren't I?"

He grinned and pulled me to him with one arm while he flipped the lock on his office door. "You are here. Wanna fool around while you're here?" He kissed me, one of those hard, deep kisses that he did so well, that always made my knees buckle and my head spin.

I tried to ignore the little zings I was getting from his mouth and his tongue and his hands – his hands! – and focused on the fact that even with the door closed, I could hear phones ringing and people talking and noises from all over the building. "This is so wrong."

"I know." His mouth dropped to my chest and bigger zings starting zinging through me.

This was bad. So bad. I batted his hands away and tried to wiggle free.

"Nice try, Morelli. But it's not going to happen."

He stepped back and smiled at me. That same damn smile that had been getting me into trouble since I was a kid. I pointed a finger at his chest. "Don't even think about it."

The smile grew. I backed up and felt behind me until I found the door handle. "Have you ever considered growing up?"

"Sure," he said. His voice lowered in pitch. "I can just think of things that are more fun."

My stomach dropped. Christ. He took a step towards me. I bolted. That's the only word for it – I yanked open the door, stumbled out into the hallway, and bolted. Morelli was making chicken noises behind me. I flipped him off over my shoulder before hitting the doors to the PD at full speed.

But as soon as I stepped outside, I screeched to a halt. Ranger was leaning against my car, arms crossed. He scanned me up and down, and I could feel my face turning red. Really red.

His lips tilted up in an amused smile. "A police station, babe?"

I glanced down at myself – my shirt was askew. My hair had to be a mess from his hands and my lips felt swollen. I ran a hand over my mouth. "I didn't do anything."

His smile grew.

I crossed my arms over my chest and tried to pretend that I wasn't embarrassed. "What's up?"

"I was going to ask why you're here instead of at work."

I huffed out a sigh. "I didn't _do_ anything! And I'm on my way back to work now. I ran into a little trouble at the grocery store, and stopped to tell Joe about it."

Ranger instantly stepped into work mode. "What kind of problem."

"Nothing, it was just—" I stared across the parking lot, trying to tell myself that my eyes were deceiving me. Nope. Same private school uniform and pigtails. She realized I was looking at her and started waving, a huge cheerleader smile on her face.

"Hi Stephanie! It's me, Emily," she yelled across the parking lot. "I brought another follower." She pointed at the girl next to her in a matching uniform. A blonde, this time. The new crazy was sucking on an inhaler.

Ranger turned and looked a the girls for a minute before focusing back on me. "The problem?"

I shrugged. "What can I say? I have disciples."

…

tbc…..


End file.
